On your marks, get set ,GO!

11/01/11
And we begin.
I realized today, that I need to give up.
So, I give up. I let go.

If I am going to do this, then I might as well realize that I do not know what I am doing.
So, starting today, I start over.
I want to be the person I always thought I was inside: wise, calm, powerful (for self), healthy, loving, kind, amazing...and I think, somehow, being enlightened will get me that.
Or this journey that I am labeling "getting enlightened" will get me that.
OR, even if it is ultimately how I feel, (I am truly laughing outloud) then perhaps again, this journey will get me that.
Oh - side note on meditating- I realized if I set an alarm, then I am not wondering for the whole 15 mintues if it has been 15 minutes. May seem obvious, but I thought I would share.

Talk to you soon.

Hallow's Eve

Day 3 of no sugar and its tough. My jaw hurts from all the gum, and it feels like I have flu symptoms.
Am I sounding whiny? I feel like I am sounding whiny.

I found out today that I didnt get a part in a theatre production that I had really wanted to be a part of.
You would think after this long in the Industry (20+ years) I would be able to handle it better...but this one hurt a lot.

I was reminded of another article I read recently. It discussed that this time on earth, this shift in awareness, was a perfect opportunity to receive a new cup, a new chalice. The Chalice represents everything we take and hold and label ourselves as. (At least, again that is how I understood the article.)
It said we have an opportunity to hold an empty cup, without preconceived notions, and allow ourselves to be whatever may come...some new creation...what we consciously choose to be.

It seems to me that somewhere in this day, in these lessons, there is a space for me to take the journey of becoming "enlightened" (or being aware of the whole spiritual truth while living consciously) and actualy apply it to my daily life.
So, if I do that today, how does this change my day?
I was thinking about this, as tears slid down my face.
Yes, I am fine.
Yes, I will allow my joy to perform to continue and I will not allow the failure to define me.

But then I took it one step further. Maybe in my new cup "actor" isn't there.
 Ahhh, maybe that's not the point, and I am getting too specific.

Maybe the point is just to be aware and conscious of the spirtitual truths while in the moment, which I did.
Wait - what are the spiritual truths? I am not sure that I defined these for myself.
See this is where I wonder -what does enlightenment mean?
If I were enlightened,would I not be disappointed?
 Should I not be attached to the outcome?
If I were enlightened, would I have reacted differently? Would I have gotten the part? Would I not have tried out?
So, on this eve before beginning my journey through enlightenment, it is time to take stock and prepare for the journey ahead.
I have my journal, (thank you blog!) I have started meditating. I have begun to define enlightenment (that's kinda important!)
And I have an empty cup.
I shed my labels here and begin a new journey tomorrow.
And on this night where the curtain is so thin, may I get some insight to what it means to be consciously here  and aware of the whole spiritual truths at the same time. (Spiritual truths yet to be defined.)
Talk to you soon.

Defining Enlightenment - Take 1

1. Wikipedia

              Enlightenment (spiritual), a final blessed state free from ignorance, desire and suffering

 Well - that's a huge mouthful and seems impossible from where I sit now. Free of ignorance, desire or suffering.

I would like to be free of ignorance and suffering, but the desire part -that's a tough one.If I am honest, I want what I want...I mean I am desiring to be enlightened! (And the mortgage and credit cards paid off and a new subaru in the drive way, my husband home, children, love, laughter, career, etc. the excel spreadsheet of desires is saved on the hard drive!)

Then again, perhaps it is all about definitions and perspective.

I think from the original article that sparked my idea of becoming enlightened in 12 months, the idea was to get to a place where I would no longer create karma...or perhaps all past karma was wiped clean, so I could be more conscious and aware of the karma I was creating , by actions and reactions.

1. Keys to Enlightenment: A Mystery School

               Enlightenment - the mind perceiving spiritual reality

Now this is an interesting definition. I like this...the mind, my conscious self, perceiving, or being aware of spiritual reality...

I understand this to be like I am consciously walking around and interacting here in this dimension, while being completely aware and knowledgeable of the all - the other side, or all dimensions...the whole truth.

Ha ha - this is almost as impossible as the other! I have had moments of visions, and experience, where I believe I have glimpsed the spiritual reality, but to be in a state of duality at every moment of every day....hmmmm interesting.

According to the website, there are 7 different meditation methods to practice in order to help achieve enlightenment. I will try to sign up for the online classes and share them here.

1. In the meantime, even though I cant find a definition, Michael Bernard Beckwith's  (Agape) Spiritual practices and universal principles inspire me. In the past,  I signed up for his classes. I think it is time to revisit those and see where they might fit in to this definition for enlightenment.

http://www.agapelive.com/index.php?page=367

 

One thing that has always been an issue for me, is the English definition of God that I have thought others used.

So for here, for my purposes, I would like to define God loosely, in whatever it means to you. And included in that, what it means for me, is everything that exists, if we look it at the soul energy as one unit (like from a distance) that is God. And so, as I am one part of that existence, then I am God, or part there in, as are you, my dog, and every tree, planet, and thought. 

For now anyway...I will begin here.

1.  Todays definition of Enlightenment

             Enlightenment - to consciously be aware of the spiritual truths 

(still yet not knowing what that completely means),  

and to practice the energy of unconditional love, every moment of everyday.

 Talk to you soon.

Sugar, Sugar, Everywhere

My first day no sugar was actually not bad, considering how hard it is for me to go "no sugar".
I dont think it is even just sugar, but the idea of having limits on what food I can put in my mouth throws me into a need to put food in my mouth.
I get the familiar ache of just needing something...distractions are difficult to come by. I dont want to be around anyone because my patience level and kindness level is at 0.

In addition to my own physical, mental and emotional drama that going "no sugar" sparks, what is frustrating is how sugar is in everything I seem to pick up. Last night I had some organic tomato soup and after I ate it, I checked the label and organic cane juice was listed in the ingredients.
So -for me, I need to define "no sugar" for now.

• No refined sugar, brown or white.

Honey and maple sugar is ok, for now, in limited quantities I think.
I had oatmeal this morning and put a little maple sugar in it and I can feel the sugar hit my bloodstream.
Yesterday I only had a very little honey in my tea; I didnt really feel it.

I wonder too, if there is something about habit and patterns in buildings for me. When I am out and about I have a much easier time with food and sugar in general...
As I sit here in the house, I feel the need to roam the kitchen and "shop" for the next delicious thing to eat, or create (bake or cook) and eat.  I don't know why; however, habits are changing now!


Food items that help:

• Gum
• Ice water
• Fresh squeezed lemon into water or tea hot or cold, one after the other if I need too
• Celery
• pickles
•  I wonder if vitamins help

 Non-food items that help:

• A movie
• A nap
• A bath and certain essential oils in the bath help me more than others  - Orange oil and ylang ylang is my favorite combination
• If I can motivate, getting outside for a walk, or hike

Yesterday I watched 2 movies, took a bath and a nap, and had water, lemon water, and tea with a little honey...and ate more food than I needed to, especially considering I didnt work out. But all in all...one day down for no sugar, and my preparation for starting my focus on enlightenment are going well.

Please feel free to share any tips or recipes  :)

Talk to you soon.

Getting Ready!

It's Saturday, October 29th, and I am getting ready for my 12 month journey to enlightenment, which will start promptly on Tuesday November 1st!
So, this should get me to enlightenment BEFORE 12/21/2011...I have some leeway. (phew)

I am going to add a few things into my daily schedule, to see if it can help me on my way!

• I have always read that meditation is important. Starting today, I will meditate for at least 15 min every evening. Perhaps I will increase this 5 minutes more every month, until I reach 1 hour. (I have secretly really disliked this kind of meditation- where you sit cross legged quietly pretending that your left hip and leg isn't killing you. "Clear my mind! Focus on breath!" ...uh hem...my left leg is dying slowly!!!) I will definitely need to research different meditation techniques, and revisit why this might be important to achieve enlightenment.
• Define enlightenment! - Super important  -and I should probably work on this continually throughout the journey!
• Body, Mind, and Soul. I have this idea that I must address body, mind and soul. I think meditation might help with the mind and soul, and maybe even the body too. But for my body, I quit sugar today. DAY 1 no refined sugar...I figure the next 3 days I might be pretty irritable and wouldn't want to begin Month 1 Day1 of my journey in a cranky mood! So, to prepare for the journey, I quit sugar. Going OK so far. Took a nap and didn't go near any people. Only the dogs and the cat have any idea that I am struggling.

I am sure there is more to do and say and think about, but I guess that's what the journey will show me.

Talk to you soon,