Hallow's Eve

Day 3 of no sugar and its tough. My jaw hurts from all the gum, and it feels like I have flu symptoms.
Am I sounding whiny? I feel like I am sounding whiny.

I found out today that I didnt get a part in a theatre production that I had really wanted to be a part of.
You would think after this long in the Industry (20+ years) I would be able to handle it better...but this one hurt a lot.

I was reminded of another article I read recently. It discussed that this time on earth, this shift in awareness, was a perfect opportunity to receive a new cup, a new chalice. The Chalice represents everything we take and hold and label ourselves as. (At least, again that is how I understood the article.)
It said we have an opportunity to hold an empty cup, without preconceived notions, and allow ourselves to be whatever may come...some new creation...what we consciously choose to be.

It seems to me that somewhere in this day, in these lessons, there is a space for me to take the journey of becoming "enlightened" (or being aware of the whole spiritual truth while living consciously) and actualy apply it to my daily life.
So, if I do that today, how does this change my day?
I was thinking about this, as tears slid down my face.
Yes, I am fine.
Yes, I will allow my joy to perform to continue and I will not allow the failure to define me.

But then I took it one step further. Maybe in my new cup "actor" isn't there.
 Ahhh, maybe that's not the point, and I am getting too specific.

Maybe the point is just to be aware and conscious of the spirtitual truths while in the moment, which I did.
Wait - what are the spiritual truths? I am not sure that I defined these for myself.
See this is where I wonder -what does enlightenment mean?
If I were enlightened,would I not be disappointed?
 Should I not be attached to the outcome?
If I were enlightened, would I have reacted differently? Would I have gotten the part? Would I not have tried out?
So, on this eve before beginning my journey through enlightenment, it is time to take stock and prepare for the journey ahead.
I have my journal, (thank you blog!) I have started meditating. I have begun to define enlightenment (that's kinda important!)
And I have an empty cup.
I shed my labels here and begin a new journey tomorrow.
And on this night where the curtain is so thin, may I get some insight to what it means to be consciously here  and aware of the whole spiritual truths at the same time. (Spiritual truths yet to be defined.)
Talk to you soon.